Orlando.
We've spent two days here and our time has been a 50/50 divide of having brilliant fun and being utterly miserable. Basically when its daytime and we're off in Disney being giant children all day - it's brilliant. But when we're stuck in the motel of doom - it's ghastly.
I'll start with the good things.
Yesterday we hit Typhoon Lagoon, an outdoor water park in the Diney complex. The place was designed by some sort of ride-genius and I regressed to being about 5-years-old again. Its so hot that everyone wanders around the place in their swimsuits to enjoy the water-themed delights on offer. There was a half-mile long lazy river ride, countless water flumes, plummet slides (one I re-named the giant wedgie for obvious reasons), a shark reef you could snorkel through, and raft rides. But the main focus was the giant wave pool in the centre where we spent most of the day. Every minute, on the minute, you hear a giant 'BOOM' and suddenly a six-foot tsunami wave catapults towards you as everyone screams. Before you have time to think, you're obliterated by the white water, and dragged around underwater as you accidentally rub body parts with total strangers. Incredible. The wave, not the rubbing of body parts - obviously.
Then today we went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. The tickets have completely blown our budget - but it was so utterly worth it. Theme Parks over here are on just a completely different scale. Every ride has a 'story' which continues throughout the ride, the accompanying area, and the queuing process. Our favourite two rides was The Simpsons ride where Sideshow Bob is trying to kill you and you run away from him in Krustyland. The second was the Jurassic Park River Adventure, which is a log flume but with the most realistic dinosaur robots ever. The realism was so intense that I spent most of the day believing everything and therefore screaming and almost pooing myself with fear every five minutes. We got a glimpse of the new Harry Potter themepark - but unfortunately they are behind building schedule so its not open until after we leave. All in all - great days. Well during the day anyway.
Onto the motel. Now, I'm aware this place is probably the Ritz compared to hostels in India vacated by proper travelling people. But I grew up in Surrey. I deliberately picked to come to the USA because I have obsessive issues concerning hygiene. And the closest I've ever come to slumming it was Reading Music Festival 2007 - where I bought a suitcase on wheels along with me as well as organic cous cous.
When we first got into our room - knackered from a day at the water park - I'm ashamed to say I actually cried. I'm not sure where to start describing it. Maybe I should begin with the giant 'NO PROSTITUTES' sign on the check-in window. Or the sign next to it which has no words - just a symbol depicting a shotgun with a red cross over it. Or I could tell you about the stains on the toilet which I'm quite convinced is dried vomit. It won't come off so we have to cover the most-offensive stains with toilet paper before we use it. It's also worth mentioning that there's a bloody helicopter launch pad less than 50 metres away which does helicopter rides over Orlando (seriously who would pay to do that?) all through the night. The go-kart race track next to it was also an unexpected bonus. Then of course the fridge doesn't work, neither do all but one of the lights, I'm quite certain the beds have bugs, the door doesn't bolt properly, two of the cars in the parking lot have been smashed in, and everyone who works here is like some sort of character you would expect to see in a horror-remake of Alice in Wonderland. The icing on the cake is that the owner has obviously tried to distract disappointed guests from the mankiness by painting the entire exterior neon purple and decorating it to look like a castle?? I'm serious there are turrets and shields all over the place - and they appear to be made out of cardboard and stuck to the walls with superglue.
Ooooh hang on... what's that? The people upstairs are having a loud party? Perfect.
But its dirt cheap. Obviously. And armed with industrial earplugs, anti-bacterial spray, deodoriser, and a sense of humour - we're doing OK. Just one more sleep and then we get to leave.
Tomorrow we're heading up to Tallahasse to stay in a 'grassroots' community with some of Dad's old friends from his 'hippy' days. Yay - no more horrid motel!
Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend.
Lots of love
Holly
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