Oh my God. We're here. We're alive! I'm still in shock.
I am writing this first In-America entry on about four hours sleep after spending two days travelling so please forgive me for all the spelling and grammar mistakes and sorry it what I write doesn't make any sense.
I have to admit. I'm a little bewildered to be here, in Sarasota, Florida, looking out at of my motel window to see real-life palm trees. I was so utterly convinced i would literally die on my way here, that now I'm here - still live and kicking - I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.
First things first. I'll answer the boring statutory flight questions....
Q1) How was your flight?
A) Very f*cking long but not bad, thank you.
Q2) What films did you watch?
A) I made the mistake of watching 'The Lovely Bones' which really doesn't put you in a holiday mood. Child being raped and murdered not quite the best choice for happy holiday fun.
Q2) What was American security like?
A) I'm still shaking in terror. Never before have I felt so guilty after not doing anything wrong. And they take all your fingerprints digitally AND a RETINA SCAN to be allowed into the country. I was about to crack some brilliant Minority-Report jokes but Rich thumped me and told me this wasn't a time for funniness.
Anyway- after the flight things got a bit hectic to say the least. Rich and I were both that kind of knackered where nothing seems real so were both pretty much useless. We managed to find the shutter bus to the car-rental place by Rich basically standing in front of it and waving madly. From what we could tell by all the other confused English people who clambered thankfully onto the shuttle bus after us - that is the only way to do it.
The experience of renting a car was somewhat hindered on the discovery that between Heathrow and Miami - I had lost the paper part of my drivers license. I actually cried in public. Like a baby. Whilst Rich stood there, very thankfully adding to the already-distressing situation, by repeating 'We're f*cked, we're absolutely f*cked' over and over. Luckily we weren't f*cked and somehow I managed to drive a car the half mile to our Holiday Inn where we collapsed for the night.
Our room overlooked the scariest-mother-f*cking intersection I have ever seen. I am a nervous driver anyway and was bricking myself about the 400 mile drive I had to do the next day. So I was up til late, despite jetlag, just watching the intersection and trying to teach myself how the hell to drive like an American person. (See above photo of terrifying intersection view)
I woke up at 4:30am in a cold sweat. I decided the only way to conquer nerves was to just get out there and do it - so I woke Rich up (haha) and we were on the road by 5am. It was probably just as well because I got us lost twice and at one point drove down the left hand side of the road. We would have definitely been killed in on-coming traffic had the roads not been totally empty so I believe my early-morning-idea worked out well. And Rich didn't mind because he wasn't dead.
Anyway we drove through the Everglades with the sun rising behind us and it was bloody beautiful. And now we are here, on Crescent Beach, Sarasota, already sun burnt and thankful for our lives.
I'm not going to bore you/make you crazy with jealously about how beautiful it is here yet. I'll save that for another blog. Lucky you.
Anyway I'm off to try and FINALLY sleep.
Lots of love
Holly
xxxx
ps: Crazy American Person Watch No. 1: At Heathrow Airport, Rich and I spotted a young American couple actually wearing adult sized babygrows. In public! The blokes was lime green and the girl's was baby pink. The worst part was they wore them without the slightest hint of irony or self-awareness. They just carried on their business as normal DRESSED AS GIANT BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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